hey guys, a new season of drag race has graced our screens (like, a week ago) and idk about you, but i’m feeling pretty sickening mawma YAAAAAAAAAAS GAGA WERK THE HOUSE DOWN BOOTS HENNY.
okay, so let’s start by ruviewing each contestant based on their entrance to the werk room.
- peppermint: peppermint is the shows OG out and proud trans drag queen. she hails from NY and she is serving LEWKS. after her beautiful blue satin entrance, peppermint definitely left me with a sweet tooth.
- next up, valentina, she is beauty, she is grace and she is slaying rupaul’s drag race. red is definitely her colour and the fact she has been doing drag for 10 months and can do THIS:
sickens me, she’s such a gorgeous drag baby and puts every biological female’s beat to shame.
- okay, i know each season tends to have it’s designated “big girl”, and all she ever talks about is her weight (looking at you, ginger minj) but this is one of the rare few times a big girl hasn’t made me roll my eyes. eureka is very witty, and also has enough good looks to make up for the times she mentions her weight
- now it’s time for the oldest queen in drag herstory, the true face crack of the century, charlie hides. aka the one that lana del ray called an asshole that time. despite being an ancient relic, charlie is beautiful and also pulls off dressing like a 22 year old as opposed to a 52 year old. she has her own youtube channel, in which she showcases her comedic talent and also insane beauty, not to mention she was grown here in the UK, and i’m all for a UK drag queen snatching the crown
- next up, the “courtney act” of the season (yawn), aka the fishy blonde – farrah moan. not only is this an ingenious pun (whether she realises this or not), but also she looks more like a woman than any woman i have ever met. and this is all i have to say:
on this: am i wrong?
- okay kittens, time for my personal favourite, the artsy, creative, sasha velour. she is dedicated to being “uniquely sasha”, and i’m in love with this bald headed dork. her lipsyncs are ART, and she is essentially herself, just art. her eyebrows will forever be better than yours, sorry ’bout it.
- next to enter the werk room, alexis michelle, aka the one my best friend wants to fuck. she’s a gorgeous, curvy queen with the bluest contacts i’ve ever seen. she serves body on a platter and her hair colour is my literal dream. alexis is classy, versatile and just super cute all round. also, her painted tits are just goals.
- shea couleé storms into the werk room next, wearing a sickening dress adorned with the face of fellow chicago queen, pearl liaison. shea’s drag style is so fierce, she will legitimately cut you. not to mention she has the best entrance line of the season, and one of the best in herstory.
she looks like she could fuck you up before breakfast.
- it’s evidently clear that trinity taylor’s favourite colour is blue. it was her chosen colour for both her promo look, and her entrance look. everything about her is blue, her clothes, her hair, her earrings. all in slightly different, yet equally annoying shades of blue. she is a pageant queen, and a storyline mirroring that of coco and alyssa is in the works between trinity and eureka. trinity isn’t quite beautiful, but just like shea, will fight you, and i love it. also, she can’t tell the difference between a stigma and astigmatism.
- kimora blac is the resident bitch of the season. despite her denial, there is no way that this bitch isn’t pumped with silicone. she’s going to be cunty, and no doubt we’re all going to gag over how cynical and mean she is. i do love a bitchy queen, and there’s no way kimora will disappoint, which will hopefully make up for the sub-par looks she’s been serving thus far
- now, the comedy queen, hailing from milwaukee, winsconsin, jaymes mansfield. now, don’t get me wrong here, the voice is awful. but i honestly stan the shit out of jaymes, she’s funny, sweet and super adorable. her quirky style and humour are all part of this bright persona, but please let her lose the voice at some point
- nina bo’nina banana fofana osama bin laden brown is one of the most creative queens to ever grace the werk room. her periscopes lull me to sleep, her voice is so soothing. she is talented and quirky, and also just the bomb.com.org.uk. and her entrance look was the best ever:
- the penultimate queen is aja, from new york. she knows who i am and once told me that she loved me and that is all i have to say about this queen. that, and that i’m seeing this sickening queen in a couple of months and i’d like to join the haus of aja, pls n thank u xo
- finally, we have ronnie from new york. she is brooklyn’s premiere lady gaga impersonator. i don’t know what else to say about her
i mean, she’s so good at it, right? look at her
you’d almost think she was lady gaga……………….. AND THAT’S BECAUSE IT IS
in possibly the best the twist in the history of rupaul’s drag race, lady gaga had everyone, especially the queens shook, these were their reactions:
and honestly i cannot blame them, my edges were officially SNATCHED.
thanks for reading this ruview of drag race, hope you enjoyed it!