flaws. everyone has them. everyone hates them. and there’s little anybody does to change them.
there’s always one thing, that holds everyone back universally. insecurity.
everyone will always say “your flaws do not define you”. but they are wrong. they do, and they always will. your insecurities impact everything you do. the way you talk, the way you walk, the way you look, and act and dress, the list is endless. but they shape a lot.
everyone has a dream. a dream body, a dream life. and realistically, the majority is achievable, but we hold ourselves back. for fear of failure, or rejection. we’re all constantly thinking if ways to better ourselves. we spend hours and hours getting ready for things, to still not quite look good enough. we put pressure on ourselves to weigh a certain amount, not for the health benefits, but to look better in a topshop crop top. it’s ridiculous, and it’s not healthy. i have seen someone drive themselves repeatedly into care because they were anorexic, and she still wanted to be thinner.
we hope dealing with our exterior will help with our interior, and it never does. we look for answers in clothes, and make-up, and shoes, anything we can to rid ourselves of the feeling of failure.
we rely so heavily on the validation of others.
i live with a girl, and yes, she’s very pretty. but she constantly seeks validation from EVERYONE. i know we all sometimes do it, but she regularly asks those around her to like her new instagram upload, or her new profile picture. she sits for hours sifting through the same photo repeated 14 times, each with the head tilted in a slightly different position than the last. then she edits it, and god forbid you were in one and don’t look good, because that’s not important. what’s important is that she looks her best, and can generate a lot of likes. this is not a healthy way to live, constantly begging for validation from those around you, especially if it hurts you that certain people maybe didn’t like something you posted.
this is going to sound harsh, but we all just need to deal with it. not everyone is going to like you, and there is only ever one person you can truly rely on – yourself. we all have to learn to love ourselves, flaws be damned. at the end of the day, they don’t mean shit. you’ll still have friends and partners, even if you have textured skin, or love handles, because plot twist: that shit doesn’t matter, and realistically if they care, then they’re a douchebag and you’ve dodged a bullet.
everyone thinks they have the worst insecurities in the world, and we assume that others don’t have them because of how they come off, but we do. and that’s just life. it takes a long time to accept your flaws, let alone love them. some people may never love them. i mean, i have plenty.
- i have a scar in the very middle of my forehead
- i have dry and textured skin
- i am prone to spots
- i have plenty of hairs that are without any pigment
- i have a make-up addiction that causes me to spend far too much money
- i am addicted to smoking
- i bite my nails
- i chew on my skin
i have so many more, but they’re all fine. i can deal with them, because i know i am worth so much more than just a skin problem, and so should you. thinking these negatives thoughts about yourself will evaporate what little self-esteem you have, and you deserve a hell of a lot more than to feel worthless or insecure, whether you believe it or not.
thanks for reading,